Nikolai Page 6

  I felt safe.

  “I was scared that they might have hurt you,” Nikolai said suddenly, his voice raw.

  “I’m fine,” I told him, trying to be as reassuring as possible. I pulled back so I could look up at him. “What happened?”

  “There was a fight,” Nikolai admitted, looking away from me. “A lot of my good friends were…” He trailed off, a dark look coming over his face.

  “I’m so sorry,” I said, feeling horror seep into me. It was my fault that they had had to fight, I knew. My fault that his friends had died or been injured. And what if something had happened to Nikolai as well?

  “Don’t be sorry,” Nikolai said fiercely. “We all chose this. We all knew what we were getting into. I never gave you that chance.” He took a deep breath. “My Uncle Evgeni runs the local mob syndicate,” he said. “The Volkov family—maybe you’ve heard of us?”

  I laughed, the sound surprisingly carefree. “I don’t keep up with crime syndications,” I told him, shrugging.

  Nikolai stared down at me for a moment and then kissed me hungrily, his mouth hot against mine. We kissed for a long moment, his tongue pushing into my mouth and positively ravishing me. His fingers were like brands against my back, nails digging into my skin and pulling me impossibly close to him until it felt almost as though we could mesh into one.

  He pulled away, resting his forehead against mine. “Sorry,” he said quietly. “I understand that you probably don’t want to see me again. Let alone sleep with me again.”

  I raised an eyebrow at him. “I got into the shower with you,” I pointed out. I sighed, my breath fanning out over his lips. “I shouldn’t be here, but I just can’t seem to stay away,” I told him. “You saved me.”

  “It was my fault that you needed saving in the first place,” Nikolai said, sounding tortured. He shook his head. “I can’t promise that there wouldn’t be dangerous situations in the future. And even if we got married, I couldn’t promise that I’d…” He trailed off, his face clouding, and I could tell how much he was hurting.

  So I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him again, unable to help myself.

  Nikolai groaned, his hands slipping down my sides, aided by the slickness of the water cascading over both of us. I could feel how hard he was, his member trapped against my hip, a hard and heated line. He kneaded my ass for a moment and then dragged his hands around to my front, slipping one hand between my legs so he could play his fingertips over my clit.

  I moaned loudly at the sensation, the sound echoing in the shower. I bit my lip, feeling embarrassed, but Nikolai just smiled. “Be as loud as you want,” he said, a growl in his voice.

  I stared at him for a long moment, mesmerized by his deep eyes. Then, I nodded slowly, mewling once again as he tugged at my nipple, twisting it roughly to send sparks of lust through me.

  Nikolai spun me around so I was facing the wall, kicking my feet slightly wider and bending me over. He gave me only a cursory check with his fingers and then plunged into me, giving me all of his length in one go.

  I screamed out his name, fingers spasming against the wall, and Nikolai froze, seemingly wondering if he had hurt me. I made a frustrated noise and tried to rock my hips. The leverage wasn’t quite there, not with the way that I was bent over, but Nikolai seemed to understand. He slowly began to move, rocking gently into me and then increasing the fervor of his movements.

  “Like that,” I whimpered. “Please, just like that.” I reached around with one hand, tangling my fingers with his, while I continued to brace myself against the wall with my other arm.

  Nikolai continued to thrust into me until I was just on the brink of coming, vision already starting to white out at the edges. Then, he suddenly paused, caressing my back gently as I sobbed with need.

  He pulled out and turned me around to face him, lifting me up into his strong arms and urging me to wrap my legs around his waist. When he resumed his earlier movements, it was with a slow, steady, tender rhythm. He stared up at me, watching my face the whole time. Then, he slowly lowered his mouth to my collarbone, nipping and sucking kisses along my skin, making me writhe against him.

  “I need to come,” I gasped. “Please, please, Nikolai. I need to come.”

  Nikolai gave me a considering look and then pushed me back against the cold wall, his fingers still tight on my hips, as though he’d never let me go. He thrust into me hard, enough so that it punched the air out of me. He repeated the motion, and at that moment, I came, clinging to him, tears on my eyelashes as I climaxed again and again until I slumped bonelessly against him.

  Nikolai’s movements sped up for a moment and then he stilled as well, spilling through his own orgasm, his forehead resting against my collarbone. “Emily,” he groaned, amazement in his voice.

  I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. It felt as though my body was still twitching, still so overstimulated by his presence within and without me. Finally Nikolai let me down, still staring at me with an unreadable expression on his face. He looked for a moment as though he wanted to say something, but whatever it was, the words didn’t seem to come.

  Instead, he grabbed the loofa, squirted some body wash on it, and began to scrub down my whole body, moving with gentle, easy strokes. I watched as he worked, marveling at the attention that he was giving me, feeling something warm blossom deep inside of me.

  He finished with the body wash and helped me rinse it all off. Then, he turned me around and repeated a similar treatment on my hair, scrubbing his fingers along my scalp, making me sigh and relax back against him. I moaned as he massaged my neck a little, tilting my head forward to give him better access.

  Nikolai chuckled and pushed me under the water so that I could wash out the shampoo. As I did so, I turned to watch him soap down his own body, using quick and vigorous strokes that were totally the opposite of the ones he’d used on me.

  “What does this mean?” I asked softly, unable to help myself.

  Nikolai looked up at me, an almost betrayed look on his face, and I could practically kick myself for having broken the moment. But I didn’t want to sneak away from his bed again, didn’t want to feel like I had to. I had to know where we stood.

  “When it came down to it,” Nikolai said, clearing his throat and looking uncomfortable, “I came to rescue you rather than helping my family win the fight.”

  I grimaced. “I’m sorry,” I said.

  But Nikolai shook his head. “I’m not trying to get you to apologize,” he said. “What I’m saying is, you’re important to me, Emily. I don’t know why. I don’t really know in what way.” He paused, taking a deep breath. “As I’ve mentioned before, this is new territory for me. I don’t date, and I definitely don’t…” He shook his head.

  I swallowed thickly. “So, I should probably leave?” I asked. “You don’t do this sort of thing. You don’t want this sort of thing.”

  “I didn’t say that,” Nikolai said, shaking his head. “I said that you’re important to me.” He brought a hand up to cup my cheek. “There are some things that I need to figure out with my family and with my future. And you’re going to need to be patient while I do that. I might not be able to see you for a few weeks. But I want this to work out. I want to spend the rest of my life looking out for you and…making you happy. If I can.”

  I blinked at him, shocked by his words. Then, I slipped into his arms, hugging him tightly.

  “Right now,” Nikolai continued, his voice a rumble in his chest beneath my cheek. “Right now, I’d really like it if you would stay the night. The whole night, this time.”

  I giggled a little, feeling elated.

  I knew I needed to focus on my work things, but the past few days had put some things into perspective. Maybe work wasn’t the most important thing in the world. And I wanted this. The past few years of travel had been so lonely, even in schools when I got along well with my coworkers.

  “Come on,” Nikolai said quietly, reaching around me to shut of
f the tap. He climbed out of the shower and grabbed a fluffy blue towel, wrapping it around me and beginning to dry me off.

  “I don’t have anything clean to put on,” I realized.

  “I’d much rather have you naked in my bed anyway,” Nikolai said, a devilish smirk on his face. He looked a lot better now than he had before the shower, and I felt proud at having helped that transformation. “If you want, you could borrow a shirt and some underwear, though.”

  I smiled shyly up at him as he wrapped the towel around me. “I’d much rather be naked in your bed too, I guess,” I said.

  Nikolai smiled broadly down at me and lightly kissed my forehead. “Why don’t you go ahead in there?” he asked. “I’m going to dry off and then go get a glass of water to put next to the bed.”

  “Okay,” I said, going into the other room and climbing into the bed. I sighed softly, relaxing back against the sheets. This wasn’t the way that I had pictured my year going, and I had to wonder whether I even had a job anymore. I didn’t even know what day it was anymore!

  But all of those questions could wait. For now, as Nikolai climbed into bed next to me, I snuggled into his side. “I love you,” I mumbled as I started to drift off.

  I wasn’t sure where the words had come from. Didn’t I barely know the guy? But I supposed I knew enough about him. He was so kind to me, so sweet. I could tell he was a hidden romantic, based on the dates that we’d been on. He might be involved in dangerous things, but I could tell that he was one of the good guys.

  Nikolai lightly kissed my hair, stroking his hand down my arm. “I love you too,” he murmured.

  Chapter Ten – Nikolai

  Andrei cocked his head to the side and then stepped back to let me into his apartment. “I didn’t know you even knew where I lived,” he said, sounding amused.

  I sighed and shook my head. This wasn’t a social call and he knew it.

  “All right, all right, quit looking like the world is ending,” Andrei said, gesturing for me to sit down on one of his couches. He flopped down across from me. “So, I take it Uncle Evgeni still isn’t talking to you?”

  I shook my head. “I’ve been iced out of the family, basically,” I told him.

  “Dima and I are still here for you,” Andrei pointed out, as though I didn’t already know that. “There’s nothing stronger than the bond of brothers.”

  I winced, remembering Diego. Diego had been as close to my brother as anyone could be without sharing blood. And look what I’d done to him.

  “Well, the good news is, the Garda is cracking down on Audaz, but they’re leaving us mostly alone. I think they figure that we’ve already been mostly wiped out, based on what they found in the warehouse—mostly our guys, and very few of theirs. Anyway, Audaz has quite a few enemies in this area, not just us. Maybe the Garda thinks it’s time to finally get rid of them.”

  “Right,” I said, my stomach turning. I frowned. “So if we wanted to go after Audaz ourselves, now would be the time?”

  Andrei was quiet for a long moment. “Is that really what you want, Kolya?” he asked softly.

  I blinked at him. “What do you mean?” I asked. “I swore, as Diego was dying, that I would avenge his death. I plan to go after Javier, for his role in what happened to Emily as well.”

  “How is Emily anyway?” Andrei asked. “In all the commotion, no one seemed to know, although I assumed you must have found her since you were remarkably quiet over the past few weeks.”

  I thought back to how I’d left Emily that morning, asleep in my bed, the sheets pulled up around her shoulders and her hair fanning out across the pillows. She’d looked beautiful, like an angel, as cliché as that might sound. I was already growing used to waking up next to her, and I wouldn’t have things any other way.

  “She’s good,” I said quietly. “She’s…pregnant, actually.”

  She had told me that news the previous day. And she’d looked so nervous, so pale as she’d asked what I wanted to do about it. Clearly, she’d expected me to be upset, to kick her out. But instead, I’d swept her into my arms, kissing her, already dreaming of the family that we’d build together. Things were moving way too fast between us, and I knew that there would be minor problems along the way as we both found out each others’ quirks, but I was so happy to have her in my life, and I couldn’t imagine that ever changing.

  “Congratulations!” Andrei said, looking surprised. He stood up and went to his liquor cabinet. “Why didn’t you tell me that we were celebrating?”

  I shook my head. “That’s not what I’m here for,” I protested, but I didn’t stop him from pouring out a couple glasses of the good Russian vodka.

  “Right, you’re here to discuss your plans for revenge, when you’ve got a wife and a child who would like you to come home each night,” Andrei said, a hint of steel to his voice.

  “She’s not my wife,” I reminded him.

  Andrei rolled his eyes. “Does it really matter, at this point? She’s someone that you were willing to save at the risk of everything else in your life. I think that shows your feelings for her, better than anything else.”

  “But Diego-“

  “Is dead,” Andrei said flatly. “And whether or not you avenge him, he’s still going to be dead. You could take out the entirety of Audaz, and it’s still not going to bring Diego back. So how many more people have to die before you’re willing to give it up and settle down and live your life?”

  I shook my head. “It’s different for you,” I complained. “You were only brought over here recently. You weren’t raised into this family like I was.”

  “And maybe that’s a good thing,” Andrei said, rolling his eyes. He took a big sip of his vodka. “Go on, tell me about it. Tell me why you’re so hell-bent on avenging Diego.”

  “He was like a brother to me,” I told Andrei. “And he died because I just had to go after Emily.” I ran a hand back through my hair. “For all I know, Evgeni was right when he said that they would get bored and realize that holding her captive wasn’t going to do anything. Maybe nobody needed to die.”

  “Don’t torture yourself,” Andrei said, shaking his head. “Sure, there are a thousand different ways that things could have played out, but at this point, it’s useless to think them all through. Again, it’s not going to bring Diego back.”

  “I swore that I’d avenge him,” I said, shrugging my shoulders. “It’s a matter of honor.”

  Andrei thought that over for a moment. “And what about Emily?” he asked. “She’s carrying your child. And she’s decided to stay with you, even though you got her kidnapped already, on your second date. Don’t you think that you owe her something? Where does honor play into that?”

  I chewed that over. “You’re surprisingly wise, younger brother,” I told him.

  Andrei laughed. “Probably because I spent so many years out in the countryside with our spinster aunts,” he joked, and I had to laugh as well.

  Andrei shook his head. “Listen, there are plenty of other people who want to make Audaz pay for various crimes,” he said. “It’s not up to only you to avenge Diego. And you’ve got more than most to lose. Maybe you should leave the battle to someone else. I think Diego would have wanted you to.”

  “But Diego could have left the battle to someone else, and he didn’t,” I pointed out.

  “Yeah, and look where that got him,” Andrei growled. “I don’t want to see you dead, brother. For Emily’s sake as well as your own.”

  I stared at him for a long moment, thinking over what he had said. I had to admit that he was right. Wasn’t that exactly the lesson that Diego had been trying to tell me? The same lesson that he’d ignored, the one that had cost him the ultimate price.

  Uncle Evgeni was already mad enough at me. And I had already made enough of my own money, outside the family funds, that I was set for life. There was no reason to keep risking my life, as much as I loved my family. Maybe it was time to walk away. My time gambling my life was over.<
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  I nodded to Andrei and stood up. “Thank you,” I told him.

  Andrei stood up as well and pulled me close, clapping me heartily on the back. “I just hope you do the right thing,” he said.

  When I got home, Emily had moved from the bed to the couch, but she was wearing only a flimsy silk robe that I had bought her when it became clear that she was going to be staying there regularly. In fact, she hadn’t gone home a single night over the past few weeks, admitting that she was scared to be alone. I couldn’t blame her for that, and I definitely wasn’t about to kick her out.

  I smiled at her, and she smiled back at me. “Family business?” she asked.

  I thought back to my conversation with Andrei. With this sexy, wonderful woman nearly naked in front of me on my couch, the answer seemed obvious. I didn’t have to think to know that I wasn’t willing to lose this.

  So I slowly shook my head. “Not family business,” I told her. “I won’t be doing any of that anymore.”

  Emily stared at me for a long moment, as though trying to judge whether I was telling the truth. Then, I could see relief break out across her face. She stood deliberately and came to my side, pulling me down by my lapels and kissing me passionately.

  “Good,” she breathed as we broke apart.

  “Yes,” I agreed, resting my hand against her stomach. “It’s time for a different kind of family business.”

  ANDREI (Story Preview)

  If you enjoyed Nikolai, you’re going to love Ava’s previous book.

  When I'm offered a job as the bar manager at the most exclusive club in Barcelona, I took it. I also knew it was in my best interest to do as I'm told, and keep my mouth shut.

  You see, the billionaire Russian mobsters who run the place were the kind of guys you didn’t want to know too much about anyways.

  But I really needed the money, and I knew that as long as I ensured the customers were happy and I did my job, everything would be fine.